<< >>


*NEWS! Chuck Lorre announced today that he was making his second run at purchasing Universal Studios. Lorre said, "Back when they were on the block to Matsushita I offered to keep the company in American hands by personally buying it for one hundred thousand dollars -- eighty-eight five in cash plus a late model Jeep Cherokee with low miles. My offer was rudely rebuffed. The chaos that ensued under foreign ownership was my only satisfaction. This time around I'm upping my offer to a cool one million dollars -- all in cash, but I'd be open to throwing in a 1995 Mercedes sedan." Lorre said his goal was twofold: to liberate Universal from the cruel yoke of Canadian domination and, once in charge, to quickly greenlight a big-budget motion picture based on "Major Dad." Lorre went on to say that if he failed in his bid for Universal, he would consider making a run at UPN. Lorre says for that coveted prize he's willing to go as high as eight thousand dollars and a home stereo system that is still under warranty.

*(This card first ran at the end of a Dharma & Greg episode on February 22, 2000. Change the '95 Mercedes to a '61 Fender Jazzmaster, substitute CW for UPN, and the offer still stands. Oh, full disclosure: the home stereo is out of warranty.)

<< >>

1st Aired: 9 November 2009