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She had a fierce intelligence in her eyes which was not apparent in her behavior or speech. When you looked into those sparkling, bluish-grey orbs, you couldn't help get the impression that she had something clever to say. She did not.

And when she favored you with a smile, you got the reassuring feeling that she understood. She didn't. Not a clue. It was only much later you realized that her wry, knowing grin was something she unconsciously did when she was suppressing gas.

Oh, and her touch. The way she held your arm, or delicately draped a hand on your shoulder. That simple gesture made you feel loved, made you feel as if the two of you were connected on the most intimate level. Well, turns out, that was just her way of keeping her balance while wearing six inch stiletto heels.

And the worst part was you didn't care. The illusion was good enough. As long as she didn't talk, fart or fall on her ass, you were a happy man.

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1st Aired: 14 February 2013