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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #90*

I wrote what I thought was a particularly clever essay for my ninetieth vanity card. Unfortunately, you can't read it because it did not make it past the censor. Apparently it was considered to be disrespectful towards certain unnamed people I dubbed "corporate overlords." Upon re-reading it I can understand how one might view it that way. I guess I was hoping that those in power would simply laugh at my juvenile irreverence and that would be the end of it. "Oh, that Chuck! What a wild and iconoclastic sense of humor he has!" (In my in imagination when they speak about me all their sentences end with exclamations because just the thought of me excites them.) Anyway, the premise of my now dead essay was that I wielded immense leverage as a result of a large, devoted, cult-like group of vanity card readers who could, when sent into action by me, positively influence the ratings of D & G. This personal leverage could then be used to force the unnamed power brokers to negotiate with me "on my terms." The big funny of the essay was that I had no idea what "my terms" might be. I visualized a scenario wherein I sat in a boardroom eating deli sandwiches with important people who "trembled" at my ability to command vast legions of TV viewers through my vanity cards. Hopefully when my time here on Earth has drawn to an end, the original draft of number ninety will be discovered and cherished by generations as yet unborn. But until that day, this card will have to do. Number ninety with an asterisk. Unless of course this card gets axed because it too fails to meet broadcast standards. Okay, let me quickly mention that "corporate overlords" is what we in the TV business say when referring to people with big hearts and even bigger senses of humor.

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1st Aired: 23 Oct 2001

www.chucklorre.com
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