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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #118

Hi, I'm Lee Aronsohn, co-creator of "Two and a Half Men". When Chuck invited me to borrow his card for this one episode, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I've been in the business for over 25 years but I've never had a vanity card. It's not that I lack vanity, it's just that the cards themselves have eluded me. And now that the time has finally come, guess what? I actually can't think of a thing to say. It's like, you wait and wait for something but then when you finally get it you don't know exactly what to do with it. Fear takes over. What if I embarrass myself? I only get one shot. If I blow it, my humiliation will be preserved on videotape and other digital media for decades to come. You know, I was never very good with pressure -- that's why I decided not to go to law school. Well, that and the fact that my grades kind of sucked. But I digress. What I need here is a really profound thought -- something which expresses a unique aspect of my personal philosophy. Okay, how about this: Contrary to conventional wisdom, time is not a dimension. In fact, time does not, in itself, exist. 'Time' is simply the name we give to one aspect of the ever-changing relationship between moving objects in the universe. If nothing moved, there would be no time. Hence, 'time travel' is a meaningless concept and I will never be able to go back and avoid having written for 'Charles In Charge'. Thank you, and good night.

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1st Aired: 10 May 2004

www.chucklorre.com
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