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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #83

The first time I got married I was twenty-six years old. I wasn't nervous. I was filled with certainty as to the rightness of my decision. I was centered and calm and blissfully unaware of all the challenges that lay ahead. My consciousness was completely unaware of my own shortcomings and how they would spring up at a later date to do what they do best. In short, I was twenty-six and dumber than soup. As I write this I'm well into my forty-eighth year and preparing to marry for the second time. The event is scheduled to begin eight hours from now. I find it amusing that this time I'm riddled with fear to the point of mind-numbing disassociation. A zombie with a tux. Of course I have to assume that this difference in my awareness is a result of the extensive knowledge I now possess of both my defects of character and the pitfalls of relationships. I have to assume that. I really do. In the meantime, my plan for the rest of the day is to wander around with a goofy smile and try not to bump into the furniture. When it's finally time to walk down the aisle, I feel fairly confident that I'll be having an out-of-body experience as well as an inability to recognize my closest relatives. The good news in all this is I'm deeply in love with the bride. The bad news is... well, there is no bad news, unless you count the goofy smile.

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1st Aired: 22 May 2001

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