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CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #85

This is my fourth attempt at writing this vanity card. My first attempt was a not-very-witty "welcome back" sort of thing. You know the type. I've done them at the start of earlier D&G seasons and thought it might again bear fruit. Needless to say, fruit was not borne. I then tried my hand at a cute little essay on workaholism and its psychic roots in my painfully juvenile demand for admiration. I think we can all agree that no more need be said about that (actually quite a bit can be said about it, but nothing I want to share with strangers who might taunt me in public). Then, seeing as how I'm currently sitting in a plane flying across the country, I took a feeble pass at how I feel simultaneously powerless and awestruck when strapped into a slender metal tube that is soaring through the sky. During this last piece I never actually wrote the word "sophomoric," but a thin, nasal voice in my head kept repeating it over and over. And finally, I tried to make sense of my new position on D&G as a consultant, while at the same time wrestling with the cultural implications and definition of the word "has-been." (For the record, I defined a has-been as a someone who did something which resulted in their becoming a somebody, but then stopped doing it, causing them to revert to being a someone, which is not nearly as good as a somebody.) It should come as no surprise that I was soundly defeated in this semantic battle as well. Which leaves me with no vanity card this week. I just hope you know I tried. I really, really tried.

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1st Aired: 25 Sept 2001

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